It was a long and a dreary day, the only motivating factor being that I got to meet my sister who recently shifted to Bombay. Mom, dad and I were in a rickshaw on our way back home from sis’s place. Dad tired from office and mom from helping sis with setting up the house. Mom and Dad were engrossed in a conversation regarding plumbers and electricians for the house and I as usual was lost in my own thoughts. The roadway to our place is not in the best of conditions due to the monorail work going on (I could write a separate page on the road conditions!!!) All of a sudden we heard a screech and a thud; a motorist had fallen down while trying to overtake our rickshaw. Our driver pretending to be oblivious to what had happened calmly rode ahead. The three of us broke from our thoughts for a few seconds when it happened and resumed back to where we had left. A few lanes had passed when; just like they show in bollywood films, the motorist came vroom and stopped right in front of our rickshaw. I FROZE….He pulled out our driver and started abusing, even beating him. Our driver was no less in this game and was giving it back to the motorist. A crowd had gathered there by then and there were vehicles honking impatiently signaling their distress in having the already narrow road blocked at this hour. It turned to a full blown fight and I realized I had started my usual prayers in mind. Dad finally stepped out and tried pacifying the two. The motorist mellowed down a bit after seeing dad. He took down the rickshaws number, threatened that he was going to complain to the police and left. Mumbling some abuses, our rickshaw guy resumed driving and we reached home safely.
In all of this I ponder …..I FROZE…I SAID MY PRAYERS…On second thoughts why did I? I was neither the accused nor the victim. Was I scared I might or somebody might get hurt? Or was I worried about reaching home? Was I plain anxious at what was happening? I guess the only thing that I can come up with is that the scene of two fully grown adults literally fighting with each other seemed so unusual in real life..almost scary that I realized what a protective environment I have been living in. It dawned upon me, that somewhere deep inside a small voice had said, “Dad mom there, nothing will happen.” If I had been in the rickshaw alone, I would have no doubt gone through the same feelings and managed it as well but for one change, “dad mom also not there, what will happen?” Its not about being or not being able to handle a situation, its just that feeling, “no place is as safe as the one where your family is” it doesn’t mean that our family consists of superhumans , it’s the superpower of faith and trust that gives you the real strength on most occasions.
Why is it that even in a group of 20, sometimes you know from within that you are on your own and sometimes even in a group of 3 you feel more safe? The reason again will be the same…
We say we grow big, we move out into the open, sure we do, but this one comfort and safe zone remains constant not by means of physical place/home but by our feeling of being cared for and protected when we are with our loved ones…we are always under their protective coat....
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
What is that Connection?
I have attended a few musical concerts, thanks to my dad. Some of these concerts feature what they call as a ‘JugalBandhi’. The tradition of JugalBandhi in the Carnatic and Hindustani styles of music is an age old one, where two skilled musicians, perform together. This duet could be instrumental or vocal. . Even when two soloists perform together, they divide the improvisation between them so that there is still only one vocal part. Their music making is co-operative, not competitive and it takes considerable skill and intimacy to create a performance to which each contributes equally. What defines Jugalbandi is that the two soloists be on an equal footing. While any Indian music performance may feature two musicians, whether vocalists or instrumentalists, a performance can only be deemed a Jugalbandi if neither is clearly the soloist and neither clearly an accompanist. In Jugalbandi, both musicians act as lead players, and a playful competition often ensues between the two performers.
Jugalbandhi is ideally between two performers but in some concerts like Shakti which is a concourse of musical geniuses, they get together for a piece like JugalBandhi wherein one of them starts with a note and others play it in their own styles in succession. This section is eagerly awaited and completely livens up the stage. There is one thing I have observed in almost all of these stage shows that seems almost magical to me. It’s the subtle communication that the musicians have amongst themselves while performing live. Music maestros like Shivkumar Sharma, Mandolin U.Srinivas, Ustad Zakir Hussain, Shankar Mahadevan etc don’t get time to rehearse before they have to perform together on the stage, yet there is a clear understanding between each of them. It comes across so smoothly that you feel they know each other since time immemorial. The mischievous look on their faces while playing a difficult note to copy, their gesture of appreciation, the instinct of knowing what the other one is about to play livens the show all together. It feels as though they are talking through musical notes and facial expressions. There are unsaid signals, nods, smiles etc between them which they understand and the music that comes out as a result is absolutely flawless. Is it the years of practice or simply an instinct one doesn’t know, but its something that cannot be clearly explained. The instruments trying to match up to each other as their masters skillfully brought them to life takes the audience to a different level. I relish these very dynamic talks on the stage. It is seen even amongst vocalists on stage, they look at each other and sing a few lines just to enjoy and know what his/her partner is about to do next and somehow you just get that cue.
. Though not exactly the same but somewhere I have experienced it too. Me and my sis used to learn music together. Whenever we had to sing in public for e.g. during family get togethers, we had a few songs which were amongst our favorites. There were times when we had a unspoken communication, like by way of raising eyebrows telling wow you managed that difficult line, signaling a two while putting the taal to say lets sing this line twice, a nod during the last line to say lets not sing the same line twice. All this was never planned before, it just used to happen.
Coming back to concerts, I cannot forget to mention that the connection is not just between those playing, it is also seen amongst those listening. We say that we all are different, our tastes are different but how is it that in the middle of a song a crowd of over 700 people stand up and clap, it means each one there feels that, that particular section was worth a standing ovation. There are times when you hear a wave of whistle or cries of “once more”, i.e these few people sitting away from each other felt the same impulse to appreciate that section of song. It feels like the auditorium is one small world of its own with the only aim being to enjoy music. One must go for a live concert just to experience the pleasure of being an audience.
I have always wondered what this connection is that binds us all together while performing or listening, but decided that it is best left experienced than explored.
Jugalbandhi is ideally between two performers but in some concerts like Shakti which is a concourse of musical geniuses, they get together for a piece like JugalBandhi wherein one of them starts with a note and others play it in their own styles in succession. This section is eagerly awaited and completely livens up the stage. There is one thing I have observed in almost all of these stage shows that seems almost magical to me. It’s the subtle communication that the musicians have amongst themselves while performing live. Music maestros like Shivkumar Sharma, Mandolin U.Srinivas, Ustad Zakir Hussain, Shankar Mahadevan etc don’t get time to rehearse before they have to perform together on the stage, yet there is a clear understanding between each of them. It comes across so smoothly that you feel they know each other since time immemorial. The mischievous look on their faces while playing a difficult note to copy, their gesture of appreciation, the instinct of knowing what the other one is about to play livens the show all together. It feels as though they are talking through musical notes and facial expressions. There are unsaid signals, nods, smiles etc between them which they understand and the music that comes out as a result is absolutely flawless. Is it the years of practice or simply an instinct one doesn’t know, but its something that cannot be clearly explained. The instruments trying to match up to each other as their masters skillfully brought them to life takes the audience to a different level. I relish these very dynamic talks on the stage. It is seen even amongst vocalists on stage, they look at each other and sing a few lines just to enjoy and know what his/her partner is about to do next and somehow you just get that cue.
. Though not exactly the same but somewhere I have experienced it too. Me and my sis used to learn music together. Whenever we had to sing in public for e.g. during family get togethers, we had a few songs which were amongst our favorites. There were times when we had a unspoken communication, like by way of raising eyebrows telling wow you managed that difficult line, signaling a two while putting the taal to say lets sing this line twice, a nod during the last line to say lets not sing the same line twice. All this was never planned before, it just used to happen.
Coming back to concerts, I cannot forget to mention that the connection is not just between those playing, it is also seen amongst those listening. We say that we all are different, our tastes are different but how is it that in the middle of a song a crowd of over 700 people stand up and clap, it means each one there feels that, that particular section was worth a standing ovation. There are times when you hear a wave of whistle or cries of “once more”, i.e these few people sitting away from each other felt the same impulse to appreciate that section of song. It feels like the auditorium is one small world of its own with the only aim being to enjoy music. One must go for a live concert just to experience the pleasure of being an audience.
I have always wondered what this connection is that binds us all together while performing or listening, but decided that it is best left experienced than explored.
Friday, January 15, 2010
GRANMA’S TALES (Story: woven by my grandmother, translated by me:)
Marriages are made in heaven….
Vishnu said,” Anna, I am in love with a girl from my office….” Vignesh stopped his meal mid-way, looked up at his younger brother and asked, “Is this the reason you have been delaying amma from searching for a match for you? She has been asking you since so many months” Vishnu nodded quietly. Vignesh asked him about the girl’s details patiently. His wife Sudha assured Vishnu that his Anna would surely stand by him while talking about it to his parents.
Next day, Vishnu took his brother to meet the girl- Anuradha. She came across as a very simple yet independent girl. They had a talk over tea and Vignesh was more than convinced that she would fit perfectly into their family, an added advantage being that she was of the same cast etc. So there was absolutely no room for a NO from his parents. When he said this to Vishnu, Vishnu couldn’t contain his pleasure since his Anna had always been his greatest support and a nod from gave him the confidence that the marriage would surely take place and he would be with the girl he loved so much in a few months.
Soon, Sudha and Vignesh along with Vishnu discussed it with Amma, Appa. Since ‘He loves a girl’ isn’t a phrase welcomed by any parent at the first go, the initial reaction was that of a shock. But a little bit of persuading from Vignesh and Sudha, a meeting with Anuradha got Amma,Appa to happily agree to the relation. Vishnu had dreaded to confront his parents about this for so long and now it was accomplished, he was bubbling with joy. Both the sides met and an engagement date was fixed. Vishnu and Anuradha discussed endlessly about the beautiful future that lay ahead for them.
Two days prior to the engagement, Vignesh got a call from his boss asking him to go out of station for an important assignment. The house was filled with wedding talks, laughter, shopping plans etc Vignesh had no mood to go. With a heavy heart, he bid good bye, disappointed that he would be missing his only brother’s engagement.
Vignesh returned on the night of the engagement day. He was to come the day after but somehow finished his work and thought of giving everyone a surprise. He rang the bell, Sudha came and opened the door. Her eyes were swollen. It looked as though she had been crying. There was an uneasy silence in the house. It did not look like a marriage house, did not look like the second son of the house was getting married. On asking, Sudha amidst her tears said, “Amma, stepped back at the last moment…the engagement has been broken…” Vignesh was shocked at this. Sudha continued, “Anuradha is Ayilyam Nakshatram Vignesh, Amma did not want to risk Appa’s life. Some relative divulged this to Amma a few hours before the muhurtham, it was such an embarrassment for the girl’s side….” She looked up at Vignesh and broke down to sobs.
Vignesh was furious; he stormed out of his room and asked everyone to gather in the hall. Vishnu looked completely distraught, Vignesh’s heart reached out to his younger brother. He was determined to resolve this. He asked, “Amma, what is this I am hearing? The girl is flawless and is very good for our family, isn’t this what you had said? Traditional, caring, down-to-earth, what else do you need? She’ll make a good daughter-in-law…” Amma interrupted,” I know she will be as lovely as our dear Sudha Vignesh, but they hid from us the dreadful fact that she is Ayilyam nakshatram. Do you know what that means? Your father’s life would have been in danger. Do you want to see you mother become a widow?” Saying this Amma broke down into tears. Vignesh placed his arms around his mother and said, “ Please amma, don’t get paranoid. Do you know, if this was to be true then Dad would have been gone 5 years back? But he has been in the pink of his health since the last few years…” Everyone looked perplexed…..except Sudha. Vignesh continued, “Yes Amma, Sudha too is Ayilyam Nakshatram” A wave of shock swept through the room. Amma gasped, “Sudhaaa….what???????” Vignesh said, “Let me finish. Sudha’s dad spoke to his astrologer and said that he will confide in us the fact about Sudha being Ayilyam Nakshatram. But their astrologer convinced him that the other aspects of mine and Sudha’s horoscope matched so well that such things wouldn’t matter. Sudha’s cousin Uttara was also looking for a match, they were of same age and hence Sudha’s dad gave us Uttara’s horoscope as Sudha’s..” Amma, appa, Vishnu were flabbergasted. Amma cried, “ What is going on? Sudha…How could you???” Vignesh said, “ Amma,calm down. Sudha had confessed to me everything about this incident a week before our marriage preparations started. It was me who took the decision to keep this fact untold. Tell me; hasn’t she been devoted to you and appa? Dad hasn’t got even a cold since we got married. I am very happy with her. You both treat her like your own daughter and she is more of a mother to Vishnu. Anuradha will be a blessing to this family in the same way. Do you really want to deprive Vishnu of his share of happiness just because of the placement of some stars in the sky? Has anything changed, now that you know about Sudha? Please Amma, don’t hold on to your blind beliefs so tightly and force Vishnu to forgo his love. He respects you and hence hasn’t said a word against you, but this is what he wants, amma” Sudha sat down at her mother-in-laws feet and said, “Please forgive me for having hidden this from you, but Vishnu loves her and he will be happy only with her.” Amma dint speak anything. She was jus looking down. Appa had been silent throughout until he finally spoke, “ Lakshmi, sometimes when the elders falter in their tracks or decisions the younger ones open their eyes and show them the right path. You should be proud of our children. Let go Lakshmi, I am going to be fine. When I am surrounded with a loving wife like you, two successful and devoted sons, a caring daughter-in-law, nothing can happen to me. Another lovely girl in this house for our Vishnu, his happiness will bring me more satisfaction. When my mind and heart is happy, my health will be good.” Amma slowly stood up, walked towards Vishnu. He had not uttered a word during the entire scene. She hugged him tightly and started crying….”I am sorry dear, I have realized my mistake, I will go and apologize to my daughter Anuradha tomorrow.” Vishnu kissed his mother on her forehead and said, “ Thank you amma, I love you”
Wedding bells were heard the following month. The function was a grand success with laughter all around and the night stars blessing the family whole-heartedly……
Vishnu said,” Anna, I am in love with a girl from my office….” Vignesh stopped his meal mid-way, looked up at his younger brother and asked, “Is this the reason you have been delaying amma from searching for a match for you? She has been asking you since so many months” Vishnu nodded quietly. Vignesh asked him about the girl’s details patiently. His wife Sudha assured Vishnu that his Anna would surely stand by him while talking about it to his parents.
Next day, Vishnu took his brother to meet the girl- Anuradha. She came across as a very simple yet independent girl. They had a talk over tea and Vignesh was more than convinced that she would fit perfectly into their family, an added advantage being that she was of the same cast etc. So there was absolutely no room for a NO from his parents. When he said this to Vishnu, Vishnu couldn’t contain his pleasure since his Anna had always been his greatest support and a nod from gave him the confidence that the marriage would surely take place and he would be with the girl he loved so much in a few months.
Soon, Sudha and Vignesh along with Vishnu discussed it with Amma, Appa. Since ‘He loves a girl’ isn’t a phrase welcomed by any parent at the first go, the initial reaction was that of a shock. But a little bit of persuading from Vignesh and Sudha, a meeting with Anuradha got Amma,Appa to happily agree to the relation. Vishnu had dreaded to confront his parents about this for so long and now it was accomplished, he was bubbling with joy. Both the sides met and an engagement date was fixed. Vishnu and Anuradha discussed endlessly about the beautiful future that lay ahead for them.
Two days prior to the engagement, Vignesh got a call from his boss asking him to go out of station for an important assignment. The house was filled with wedding talks, laughter, shopping plans etc Vignesh had no mood to go. With a heavy heart, he bid good bye, disappointed that he would be missing his only brother’s engagement.
Vignesh returned on the night of the engagement day. He was to come the day after but somehow finished his work and thought of giving everyone a surprise. He rang the bell, Sudha came and opened the door. Her eyes were swollen. It looked as though she had been crying. There was an uneasy silence in the house. It did not look like a marriage house, did not look like the second son of the house was getting married. On asking, Sudha amidst her tears said, “Amma, stepped back at the last moment…the engagement has been broken…” Vignesh was shocked at this. Sudha continued, “Anuradha is Ayilyam Nakshatram Vignesh, Amma did not want to risk Appa’s life. Some relative divulged this to Amma a few hours before the muhurtham, it was such an embarrassment for the girl’s side….” She looked up at Vignesh and broke down to sobs.
Vignesh was furious; he stormed out of his room and asked everyone to gather in the hall. Vishnu looked completely distraught, Vignesh’s heart reached out to his younger brother. He was determined to resolve this. He asked, “Amma, what is this I am hearing? The girl is flawless and is very good for our family, isn’t this what you had said? Traditional, caring, down-to-earth, what else do you need? She’ll make a good daughter-in-law…” Amma interrupted,” I know she will be as lovely as our dear Sudha Vignesh, but they hid from us the dreadful fact that she is Ayilyam nakshatram. Do you know what that means? Your father’s life would have been in danger. Do you want to see you mother become a widow?” Saying this Amma broke down into tears. Vignesh placed his arms around his mother and said, “ Please amma, don’t get paranoid. Do you know, if this was to be true then Dad would have been gone 5 years back? But he has been in the pink of his health since the last few years…” Everyone looked perplexed…..except Sudha. Vignesh continued, “Yes Amma, Sudha too is Ayilyam Nakshatram” A wave of shock swept through the room. Amma gasped, “Sudhaaa….what???????” Vignesh said, “Let me finish. Sudha’s dad spoke to his astrologer and said that he will confide in us the fact about Sudha being Ayilyam Nakshatram. But their astrologer convinced him that the other aspects of mine and Sudha’s horoscope matched so well that such things wouldn’t matter. Sudha’s cousin Uttara was also looking for a match, they were of same age and hence Sudha’s dad gave us Uttara’s horoscope as Sudha’s..” Amma, appa, Vishnu were flabbergasted. Amma cried, “ What is going on? Sudha…How could you???” Vignesh said, “ Amma,calm down. Sudha had confessed to me everything about this incident a week before our marriage preparations started. It was me who took the decision to keep this fact untold. Tell me; hasn’t she been devoted to you and appa? Dad hasn’t got even a cold since we got married. I am very happy with her. You both treat her like your own daughter and she is more of a mother to Vishnu. Anuradha will be a blessing to this family in the same way. Do you really want to deprive Vishnu of his share of happiness just because of the placement of some stars in the sky? Has anything changed, now that you know about Sudha? Please Amma, don’t hold on to your blind beliefs so tightly and force Vishnu to forgo his love. He respects you and hence hasn’t said a word against you, but this is what he wants, amma” Sudha sat down at her mother-in-laws feet and said, “Please forgive me for having hidden this from you, but Vishnu loves her and he will be happy only with her.” Amma dint speak anything. She was jus looking down. Appa had been silent throughout until he finally spoke, “ Lakshmi, sometimes when the elders falter in their tracks or decisions the younger ones open their eyes and show them the right path. You should be proud of our children. Let go Lakshmi, I am going to be fine. When I am surrounded with a loving wife like you, two successful and devoted sons, a caring daughter-in-law, nothing can happen to me. Another lovely girl in this house for our Vishnu, his happiness will bring me more satisfaction. When my mind and heart is happy, my health will be good.” Amma slowly stood up, walked towards Vishnu. He had not uttered a word during the entire scene. She hugged him tightly and started crying….”I am sorry dear, I have realized my mistake, I will go and apologize to my daughter Anuradha tomorrow.” Vishnu kissed his mother on her forehead and said, “ Thank you amma, I love you”
Wedding bells were heard the following month. The function was a grand success with laughter all around and the night stars blessing the family whole-heartedly……
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